Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize