Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I touched a dick in church today
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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