You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
