Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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