Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
