I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
