Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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