i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
