it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
