So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
