I think I just saw someone hide a body.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
