friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
