It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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