When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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