and next time when you feel me up, do it right
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
