O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
