Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
