Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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