then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
