i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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