dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
