Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
