I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
