Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
