I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
