i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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