I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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