I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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