I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
