Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
