How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
