Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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