felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
