I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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