I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
