I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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