Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
