Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
