so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Randomize
