she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
