In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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