This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
