that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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