I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
