i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
