butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I smell stomach acid.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
