I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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