how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
