we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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