Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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