didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
