Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
