Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
