"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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