I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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