And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
