They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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