CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
