Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
