I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
