I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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