she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
