Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
