bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
