i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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