No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
