Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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