She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
