I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
