She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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