Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
