Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
