Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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