I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
