absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
