Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
